two broken souls shouldn’t try to fix one another they said. and i could see why now that you’re gone. one will heal and move on, one will hurt and stuck in the past. i wonder who’s fault is this. is it you for catching me from falling apart, or is it mine letting myself to be caught knowing damn well you’re just as broken as i am.
it was wonderful in the beginning, of course. having someone to care for you, to listen to you, to tell you everything is going to be okay as long as we’re together. and time flies since then. i can’t pinpoint the exact time i started to feel butterflies every time we spent time together, but i didn’t put that much thoughts on it. we were in fact childhood lovers before.
but it gets more demanding from time to time. i wanted to feel special and you treat me like i’m one. wouldn’t i look like a heartless bitch if i didn’t fell in love with you?
and so i told you that night in the beginning of summer “i love you” “let’s date”, and you replied “i’m not good at commitment”. and at the moment i thought to myself, damn, maybe i AM getting caught up in my own feelings. maybe this is just how he treats someone. i was never special i thought to myself.
until i realized, you never replied with a “i don’t love you”. and even after that you continued treating me good and even better than before. well this is confusing, i told myself.
but was it ever love to begin with? or maybe you’re becoming more and more familiar to me from time to time. that’s why i want to keep you for myself. and maybe that’s how you felt too, maybe you just think i am a part of a routine, a habit you’re attached to.
and we continued to live side by side after that, like nothing has ever happened. you don’t seem to mind, neither do i.
at some point you detached yourself from me little by little. it was subtle, but i can tell. it’s like you’re protecting me from breaking apart if you’re gone. so i pulled myself from you, retreating.
love grows from familiarity. and you’re everywhere around me. you’re in my diary, where i wrote stories about us. you’re in my playlist, as i romanticize us together. you’re everywhere and its suffocating.
but i forgot that love came in many form. and just because yours are not the same type of love i have, doesn’t mean its less of a love.
unrequited feelings made me realize of the deeper relationship we have. it’s stronger than a friendship bond, deeper than a couple’s affection, and almost as thick as family’s blood.
and you no longer feel suffocating, as i started to embrace the new us. it was indeed love to begin with, and i’m sorry for doubting.
hey there, nona here. i would like to thanks everyone who’s been supporting me in my previous work. firstly i would like to apologize that it took me so long to publish a new writing. i created this account for fun and i never thought there would be a lot of people supporting. thank you! this story is about me and a good friend i have since a long time ago, i hope you guys like it! please look forward for future piece! with love, nona.
